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I have heard this story twice in the last 24 hours and I’ve laughed both times. It’s from the EW cover story about Michael Jackson’s “This Is It” tour that never was.

As the production got under way, it quickly became clear that Jackson’s creative ambitions for the concert were beyond anything he’d ever attempted. With the budget already past $24 million, Jackson told his team he wanted to recreate one of the world’s largest waterfalls on the stage. “I was ready to jump off the balcony of my office,” Phillips says. “We went and met with Michael, and Kenny said, ‘Michael, you’ve got to stop. We’ve got an incredible show, we don’t need any more vignettes.’ Michael said, ‘But Kenny, God channels this through me at night. I can’t sleep because I’m so super-charged.’ Kenny said, ‘But Michael, we have to finish. Can’t God take a vacation?’ Without missing a beat, Michael said, ‘You don’t understand — if I’m not there to receive these ideas, God might give them to Prince.’”

I feel the same way, Tom.

I feel the same way, Tom.

I especially like how the guns are pointed AT the crib. Freeze, baby! stfuparents: A few Fun Facts I’ve come to learn about this Nursery FAIL: 1. The guns are not loaded and are locked in the rack. 2. The wife isn’t too keen on the gun placement. For the life of me I’m trying to figure out why. 3. This room is technically the couple’s bedroom. As if that matters. I’m pretty sure the last thing I want to wake up to in the morning is a rack of rifles…but hey, I’m only me! 4. Amanda, the poster, is not Brittany, who couldn’t sleep. 5. I will sleep well tonight knowing Terra and Ashley will never babysit my future children. 6. C’mon, you know I had to. Click for high-res photo

I especially like how the guns are pointed AT the crib. Freeze, baby!

stfuparents:

A few Fun Facts I’ve come to learn about this Nursery FAIL:

1. The guns are not loaded and are locked in the rack.
2. The wife isn’t too keen on the gun placement. For the life of me I’m trying to figure out why.
3. This room is technically the couple’s bedroom. As if that matters. I’m pretty sure the last thing I want to wake up to in the morning is a rack of rifles…but hey, I’m only me!
4. Amanda, the poster, is not Brittany, who couldn’t sleep.
5. I will sleep well tonight knowing Terra and Ashley will never babysit my future children.
6. C’mon, you know I had to.

(this post was reblogged from stfuparents)

We were doing a tech rehearsal for a show a couple weeks ago and needed some “wacky thinking music,” because I’d forgotten to bring any. We ended up using this song, because it was on the computer already. I’d never heard it before and I’m not sure who used it in which show or why it was on the computer, but it quickly became my FAVORITE THING EVER. I know I use that expression a lot, but this time I really mean it. Favorite!

Miley Cyrus raps about why she deleted her Twitter account in this delightfully lo-fi and dorktastic video. This kiiiiinda makes me love her a little.

“
The other thing that’s really, really good [for polishing silver] are old t-shirts or old underpants. Male underpants. When you’re left with a drawer when your husband runs out on you, you know. Cut ‘em up and use ‘em for polishing silver. Nothing better.

Martha Stewart, on yesterday’s show.

Oh, Martha. You are the best.

Senator Franken introduced an amendment to the Defense Appropriations Bill that would punish defense contractors like KBR/Halliburton who try to force employees who have been raped and assaulted on the job into arbitration rather than letting them have their day in court. This is really a must-watch video. Thirty senators, including living fossil John McCain, voted against the amendment. You can find the names of all 30 of those dirtbags here.

(via Jezebel)

1960s-era nail polish remover. From an awesome photoset of Mad Men props on EW’s site. Click here for more.

1960s-era nail polish remover. From an awesome photoset of Mad Men props on EW’s site. Click here for more.

Martha Stewart bloopers!

I could watch blooper reels all day, every day.

Why aren’t we, as a nation, talking about “Lawman,” the new reality show starring Steven Seagal? Here’s the 20 second commercial, which is hilarious. A&E won’t let me embed it, because they know how hilarious it is. Above is the longer trailer, where Steven lets us know this is “for real” and “not a joke.” I beg to differ about one of those claims!